A FRIEND MAKING MY NIGHT & OUR LITTLE MAN UPDATE

Tonight has been a rough night for me. I won't go into exact detail but I'm tired of feeling crappy about myself just because I haven't lost all of my baby weight. Why on earth do I feel my whole existence is based on how I look? I try to be a good mom, wife, employee, church member, friend, etc... Isn't that enough? Why do I put so much pressure on myself to be something that I may never be and not be okay with that? Anyway- this is how my night has been going. Then here I am at 2 in the morning because I can't stop these dumb thoughts in my head and sleeping is obviously not going to happen. So I decided to look at my blog and then check out some friends' blogs. Well, one of these friends really made my night... I was reading her blog and she quoted me as a "dear friend". You know who you are. You have no idea how that has changed my whole attitude and outlook tonight. I want you to know that I feel the exact same way and I couldn't be happier for anyone else! I love that we can celebrate your joy together knowing what eachother has gone through to get where we are. I hope you know that I cherish your friendship and I feel we have something that bonds us together that not many people we know understand. Not to get all mushy, but you have no idea how much I needed that tonight so thank you. Even though it seems so simple, it makes me feel so much better!

Now to the little man that is the topic of every conversation I have... Man I love my little Ryder! He's wanting to crawl so bad and is so close but isn't quite there. He's got his knee movement figured out but not his hand movements so he face plants a lot but I think within the next week he may just have it. I have mixed feelings about it but it's going to get here sooner or later so we might as well encourage him! He loves to clap and play the blowing bubbles game with Wayne. He sure loves his daddy! He gets super excited when he sees Wayne. It is so sweet! I love that they are so close! He found Elmo today on Sesame Street and is already hooked! It was on accident but once I realized how transfixed he was on it, I let it go and now he has something else to add to his watching list besides Baby Einstein. He sure does smile a lot and when he does it just melts your heart! He's a good eater (will eat ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING!) and a great sleeper! He does have some attitude which is to be expected but he can be so sweet! He loves to give us kisses when we ask and the best is when he just does it on his own! I swear that is his little way of showing love. There really isn't anything more special than that! It makes you feel like you're doing something right as a parent... Well, what more could we ask for at this time! Wayne and I are both going to school this fall, I have a great job, and we have a wonderful, beautiful son! We are truly blessed!

OUR 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND

Well, we had a busy, interesting holiday weekend! Thursday, Ryder and I drove with my mom to Boise, Idaho in one day to meet my sister Stacy up there (she is from Oregon) so that my mom could take her son Stevie for a month to visit. Stacy had never met Ryder so I wanted to go up there, not to mention to see her and Chad. Wayne's sister Wendy let us borrow her portable DVD player so Ryder could be entertained with Baby Einstein. What a lifesaver!! I am investing in one of those one day! (Thanks Kamelle for the idea and thanks Wendy for letting us borrow it!). Ryder did great until 15 minutes from home and he lost it! Granted we had been pretty much driving from 6:15 am until 7:30 pm so he had had it... who can blame him? But you should have seen him with Wayne when we got home... He was so sweet and loving towards Wayne! He kept putting his head on his shoulder, smiling and touching his face... It was adorable! He was so happy to be home with his daddy! Then, Friday we got up at 6 am (remember, Ryder is NOT a morning person so 2 days in a row with 6 am wakenings was not cool in his mind!) to go to Eden to go boating with Wayne's family. We weren't sure what Ryder would think of the boat... He completely shut down! He would barely smile and just had a serious look on his face the whole time! He didn't cry though so I don't think he hated it... I just think he didn't really like it. It will be better when he's older. Then Wayne started feeling sick so we went back to the condo to hang out... Boy was Ryder a different boy there! He was super happy and back to himself. I started feeling sicker - (I had been battling a cold since Tuesday) and just wanted to sleep... So we did and then left there getting home at 8 pm. Well, Saturday -4th of July - we wanted to go for a bike ride and then to the Provo park possibly for the Freedom Festival but I woke up SOOOO sick! I think I had a sinus infection. I was miserable so what did we do all day? LAY AROUND! I was so bummed out! I felt really bad but what could I do? Luckily I am on antibiotics already fighting mastitis so I think that has helped. I woke up this morning (Sunday) feeling better although still not completely healthy. Anything is better than how I felt yesterday though! So, that was our long holiday weekend that I think has been too long and I'm ready to be healthy and back to a normal schedule. I usually hate when holiday weekends are over, but I'm worn out over it so I guess I'm just ready for normalcy! Well, like Wendy said, luckily we live in Utah and have the 24th to celebrate as well so I can somewhat make up for what we missed this weekend! Can't wait until then!